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Saima’s Blog: My Most Maddening Motherhood Moments

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We all adore our kids and love them endlessly. However, I am sure most of you will agree, sometimes parenthood is fraught with crazed, maddening moments. After recently being asked by numerous friends, who are either new or expectant parents, about the challenges of parenthood I was inspired to compile a list of my most maddening moments as a mother.

Poop-Fest

You just changed your little one’s diapers and you smell something foul five seconds later. Voila – another poopy diaper. If I had a penny for each time I changed my son’s diaper and had to change it again minutes later, I would be a very rich woman.  There is something about a clean diaper that the little ones’ bowels cannot resist.

Re-Reading and Re-Re-Reading and Re-Re-Re-reading

Reading the Cat in the Hat by Dr. Suess, or any other book that your child fancies, for the umpteenth time becomes an exercise in pure parenthood torture. Reading the same book to your child is meant to be good for their development but this repetition also usually leads to kids gravitating to the same, familiar books each time they are asked what they want to read at bed time. However, after reading the Cat in the Hat for the 70th time in a row, I can’t help but have disturbing dreams of psychedelic cats, in rhyme of course.

Public Meltdowns

This is a pretty common one that most parents have experienced on a seemingly simple journey such as to the mall or the grocery store – pretty much any place where you would ask your kid not to touch something. Chock full of theatrical maneuvers and vehement protests, usually accompanied by crying, these meltdowns are strange, embarrassing and hilarious all at the same time. These public meltdowns are definitely way up on the list of the maddening moments of motherhood.

The Wheels On The Bus Go Round And Round

No matter how much you try to inculcate good music into your child’s life from an early age (in-utero perhaps) they will be attracted to annoying ditties. I guess it is the repetitive nature of these songs that attracts children, while at the same time rendering adults insane. Soon, singing an Adele tune or belting out Pearl Jam in the shower might get replaced by “the wheels on the bus go round and round” or “when you are happy and you know it” or some such.

Quiet Time – Finally! But Wait For It

You have finished your chores, fed and bathed your little one, and are gearing up for some ‘me’ time by soaking in a nice hot bath tub. And it begins – Bang! Bang! Bang! on the door. Or if your child is older and talking then the “Bang! Bang! Bang!” is usually followed by ”where is my car”, or “mommy I want to watch TV” or “mommy I want you to read to me”. This pretty much happens till you reconcile yourself to the fact that your search for nirvana is futile.

Haircuts Hurt

I don’t know if children psych themselves into thinking that their hair have nerve endings or if they suffer from extreme haircut remorse. But, I have rarely seen a toddler get a first (or fiftieth) haircut without screaming like a banshee. “It hurts mama!”

Clean And Repeat. Clean And Repeat

What feels like a veritable lifetime is spent picking up your kids toys. With the attention span of a squirrel, your child will play with 20 toys in as many minutes, dropping one and picking up the next. At the end of such a play session, the room looks like a tornado ripped through it followed by a herd of rhinos on Red Bull. By the time you clean up the room, its time for the next play session. 

Fighting Over Your Phone

If you thought you would be fighting over the phone with your child once they reach their teen years, think again. The battle starts earlier – much earlier, at the ago of 15 months or even sooner. Every time my cell phone is within reach of my toddler, he skillfully unlocks it and starts talking into it, like he is discussing the latest stocks that have plummeted on the Dow Jones. When the phone rings, he comes running to pick it up and if he doesn’t manage to snag it first, it is a battle to get two words in edgewise before having to surrender the phone to your little gabber. It’s rather cute at first, but after a little while you just miss the simple days when the phone use to ring and you could just pick up and talk on it – ALONE!

Mealtime Mayhem

Spaghetti stained sofas and broccoli infested carpets become the norm once your little ones starts eating solids. If you were a neat freak, like I was, you can pretty much expect mini-heart attacks during most mealtimes and usually a few weeks into feeding your child solids, a clean, stain free household becomes a pipe-dream – a dream of what was but never will be (at least till your child goes off to college).

The “I’m Bored” Syndrome

Even if your child is not old enough to proclaim that he or she is bored, you will realize pretty fast that it takes a whole lot of creativity and energy to constantly keep your little one entertained. No matter how many toys you get, or how many play dates you have in the week, you will still have an irritated child who doesn’t want to play with his or her million toys and needs some other entertainment. My parents say that the ‘I’m Bored Syndrome’ continues way into the post-teen years.

Sleep – Huh? What’s That?

Even when your child is sleeping through the night and is old enough to sleep in his or her own room, disturbed sleep is still a frequent occurrence. At least a few times a week, either you end up in their room or them in yours. A full night’s sleep becomes an unrealized dream and you are usually left with a few of these scenarios: you and your spouse on two ends of the bed, with a child sprawled horizontally across your bed; your child waking up at 5 am and rearing to play with you; or your child wanting to recount his or her day (even though they might just be old enough to babble) in the middle of the night. I read somewhere that a mother had taken to spreading tiny bones around her bedroom entrance to scare off her children from coming to her bed at night – food for thought? I kid of course.

 

Those were some of my maddening moments – tell me yours.

 


Photo credit: Copyright (c) 123RF Stock Photos

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Contributed by saimaismail

Saima is the Editor-in-Chief, and co-founder of Bright Babyhood. She is a management consultant and a Columbia University alumni. She currently spends her days managing and writing for Bright Babyhood, and brainstorming ways to convince her toddler to eat. You can find her writings at www.BrightBabyhood.com.

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